The Lord led me to this verse this morning:
“The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
I thought to myself, I’ve never had anyone sing to me before.
But then, just like that, a memory came to me. Clear as day, like it had happened yesterday. I was probably 4 or 5 years old. My Dad had sat me on the bathroom counter, next to the sink. He was shaving. And as he shaving, he was singing to me, “If you knew Susie, like I know Susie, OH! OH! OH what a gal!”
And then I believed. If my biological father, a fallen man, sings to his child like this, yes, my Heavenly Father rejoices over me with singing. It’s hard to wrap my mind around that. But the Bible says it. I believe.
When I get to heaven, Job is one of the many people I want to meet. I am so grateful for his story. I am sorry for all the pain and suffering he endured: losing his children, his livelihood, his status and honor, his health. Unbeknownst to him, behind the scenes, Satan was accusing Job, saying that Job loved God only because of all the blessings he had. The story proves Satan wrong. Job never stopped believing in God. Oh he went through anger and depression. He cried out to God. He demanded an explanation of God. He tried to justify himself. But he always knew that God was there, even if at times he ‘thought’ God was distant and uncaring.
This past week our family experienced fear and worry as we waited for word on the mass found on my daughters ovary. Although the answers are still not certain, the doctors are more optimistic that the tumor is benign. Now we just wait for the surgery. My daughter is experiencing much pain. She has cried out to God honestly and she has shared her journey openly. I think, like Job, God is pleased when we present not the idealistic picture of HOW a tested person ‘ought to act’, but rather a authentic picture of how a person DOES act when pain and fear are present.
Yes, Job, I am thankful for your story. I can’t wait to shake your hand.
Today is the day my daughter meets with the surgeon. What will they find out? Is it cancer? No one has spoken much of that possibility since they found the ‘mass’ in her ovary. This whole week has been a ‘blur’ while we have waited. Then I suddenly realize, it is Holy Week! TODAY is the day Jesus went to the cross! What must it have been like for Jesus’ disciples? Jesus knew what was going on and He walked right towards it, determined, unafraid, ready to give it all for us….. for me. But the disciples? I can only imagine how confused they must have felt. How scared. Just like I’m feeling right now.
Jesus, thank you. Because of what you did on this day, over 2000 years ago. If you would not have gone to the cross, there would have been no hope for us. You were the only one who could save us. Without You… the worst fear, like for me right now, my daughter being diagnosed with ovarian cancer, would be a diagnosis of despair, and death, only leading to eternal death. Oh how I thank you, Jesus, that because of what you did, we have life! FOREVER! That yes, even though all of us will taste the first death, the second death cannot touch us! “Where, O death, is thy sting? where, O death, thy victory?” 1 Corinthians 15:55